Tuesday, March 24, 2009

HONK HONK MF'er!

We live in the ghetto. ...and if you're familiar with the ghetto, then you're familiar with a few things: People with stories about a broken down car and their need for bus fare. Adults who want to do a terrible job mowing your lawn or shoveling your snow for $5-10. You're familiar with some of the loudest talkers you've ever seen after dark. You've probably seen a young man and woman "pretend" fist fighting. You're also familiar with that ridiculous sound of a rattling trunks on really old cars with wicked loud bass. ...and you probably have seen your fair share of $500 cars with $2000 wheels. I could go on and on....but the one thing I despise....is the late night horn honk.


Get out of your damn car and knock on the door. Really. It's a simple and courteous way to address your friend out of the house. Why must you alert the whole neighborhood that you're here?


The guy who drives a car similar to this is the a-hole in question. Typical mid 90's Buick, missing hubcaps, and shocks that went bad several years ago.

Here's my fear. On a regular basis, sometime between 7pm and 11pm, this guy is honking the horn - 10-20 times for 5-10 minutes. Now, when our little girl arrives and we finally get her to sleep, will I have the patience to deal with this dickhead in an adult way? I pray to God that I will.

Maybe, with any luck, he'll have a sudden desire for a college education. Upon entering college, he'll learn from his new educated friends that honking is a stupid way to signal your friends that you've arrived....and he'll stop. At that point, I will salute you young ghetto dumb-ass....for your willingness to better yourself and my neighborhood.


...until then, please stop honking your f''ing horn, man.

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